Tears
by caz-gobby
Summary: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything... (FINAL CHAPTER AT LAST FOLKS!!!!!!! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!)
1. Its off to work we go

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything. (and I hate writing summaries!)  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: It starts boring and I reckon it's too long but. please review.  
  
  
  
Jack whistled as he walked down the corridor to Sam's lab. He turned the corner to see Sam swallow some painkillers. He stopped whistling abruptly and looked at her with a curious frown.  
  
"Just a headache sir." Sam explained, "I seem to be getting a lot of them recently."  
  
"Maybe you should get Doc Fraser to give you a once over." Jack suggested as he walked around the lab looking at the assorted science equipment.  
  
"I think I'm just a little tired." Sam said as she carefully removed the device that Jack was now shaking to see if it rattled. "We have been working flat out over the past couple of months."  
  
"No Carter, YOU have been working flat out, the rest of us realise the meaning of "leave" is to leave, as in the premises." Jack said as he pointed at the door. "You need to let your hair down," he gazed up at her short blond hair "so to speak. You need to have a little fun..."  
  
"But sir, this IS fun!" Carter exclaimed as she pointed at the prototype naquata refiner. "I love what I do."  
  
Jack looked unconvinced at Carter who averted his gaze, saying, "I'm sorry sir but I had better get on, I want to get this finished before SG-6 return with the naquata compound from P3X-171."  
  
"How's that coming on anyway?" Jack walked over to the bench and started examining its contents.  
  
"Well the naquata compound from P3X-171 is contained in certain rocks which SG-6 can find easily due to their extraordinary weight. Getting the compound out of the rocks is easy enough, its just trying to get the pure naquata separated from the other impurities that's the difficult as it is so reactive. Once we have worked out how to do it though we will be able to acquire naquata much more easily and we can develop the defence shields that started with the naquadria that Jonas brought us."  
  
Jack looked at her, bored. "A 'not so good sir' would have done."  
  
"Sorry sir but I just can't seem to be able to find a safe way to separate the pure naquata..."  
  
"Carter!" Jack shot her a warning shot.  
  
"I really need to get on." Carter took the palm pilot Jack had found to play with out of his hand and looked meaningfully at him.  
  
"Ok, ok I can take a hint!" He said with mock offence, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. Carter smiled. "Don't work too hard." he said in a light playful voice as he slowly walked out of the door. Carter turned back to her work and started to input some data into the palm pilot. Jack paused at the doorframe and looked at Carter.  
  
"We all miss him Carter." She looked up surprised as Jack walked down the corridor.  
  
**********  
  
The all-too-familiar siren started as General Hammond closed the mission report he was reading and hurried down the spiral staircase to the Gate Room.  
  
"It's a transmission from SG-6, sir." Said Sergeant Davis, "Visual coming through."  
  
"Major Bright, is there a problem?" Hammond enquired of the recently appointed leader of SG-6.  
  
"No sir." Bright looked excited; "We found some alien technology that Sharp thinks Major Carter will want to look at. He thinks it is a naquata processor that will help Major Carter with the naquata refiner that she is working on. We found it in one of the disused mine shafts while we were looking for some more of the naquata compound."  
  
"Ok Major, I'll send SG-1 through shortly."  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
The wormhole closed. Hammond turned to look at Major Davis.  
  
"Please send SG-1 to the briefing room."  
  
"Yes sir"  
  
**********  
  
"That's all the information we have." said Hammond in conclusion to the mission briefing.  
  
"So what are me and Teal'c gonna do while Carter is playing with her new toy?" asked Jack looking playfully at Sam who smiled.  
  
"Well Colonel, since you asked, SG-6 could do with some help removing the naquata compound from the mine."  
  
"You know sir, I've always wanted to be a miner... oh wait, we did that already, TWICE!"  
  
Hammond chuckled, "You leave in half an hour. Dismissed."  
  
"Well Grumpy," said Jack standing up and looking at Teal'c, "while Sleepy here plays with her toy its off to work we go, hi-ho, hi-ho..." Jack walked off singing, Carter laughed and Teal'c raised an eyebrow looking mildly amused.  
  
**********  
  
"Sorry sir." Carter looked flustered as she hurried along the corridor to the Gate Room walking right into Jack.  
  
"Its ok Carter, I have another foot for you to stand on!" he said playfully. Carter still looked serious. Jack turned serious as he said, "When we get back you are taking some well earned leave."  
  
"But sir..."  
  
"That's an order Major."  
  
"Yes sir." Carter mumbled as they stood at the foot of the gate.  
  
"Seventh chevron, locked." Major Davis informed them. The wormhole opened with its usual kawoosh.  
  
"C'mon kids." Jack beckoned them forwards with a wave of his arm as he started to walk up the ramp.  
  
"Have fun Colonel." Hammond played along with Jack's humour.  
  
"I'll let you know if we find Snow White." Jack's sarcasm was as sharp as always as they disappeared through the gate. 


	2. Hiho hiho hiho

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: ok, this is chapter 2 and still not a lot happening but please be patient and PLEASE review. This is my first fic and I could do with the encouragement.  
  
  
  
The three travellers emerged on the other side of the Stargate. The sky was blue and the sun shone. All that could be seen was lush green vegetation with the most beautiful mountains off in the distance to the east. The main thing they noticed on this stunning planet was the heat.  
  
"Wow!" exclaimed Jack. "Sure is hot out here."  
  
"Indeed, the temperature of this planet is considerably higher than that of earth." confirmed Teal'c  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"We gonna be in trouble with this heat?"  
  
Carter pulled out a device and studied it carefully before looking at her watch.  
  
"No sir, since it's past peak temperature it shouldn't get much hotter."  
  
"Well then, it's off to work we go, hi-ho, hi-ho..." Jack started to sing in a miserable voice as he set off in the general direction of the mountains.  
  
"I do not understand this song." Teal'c stated with a bemused look.  
  
"How long have you been on earth and you still haven't heard of Snow White?" Jack continued to walk as Teal'c joined him. Teal'c raised a curious eyebrow and looked at Jack. Carter followed close behind.  
  
"Are we walking comfortably children?" asked Jack in an overly patronising voice. "Good! Then I'll begin. Once upon a time..."  
  
The three carried on walking into the forest in the direction of the mountains as Jack told his embellished version of Snow White, frequently being corrected by Carter and even more frequently having to stop to explain to Teal'c that it was a fairy tale and, therefore, not true.  
  
**********  
  
They reached the disused mine shaft just as Jack finished telling the story. Jack waved an arm in the air to the four men who were stood loading some rocks into a cart.  
  
"Bright, Sharp, May, Dover." Jack addressed the men nodding at each one in turn.  
  
"Colonel, you picked a nice day for it." Major Bright glanced at they sky. "This is the hottest it's been since we got here."  
  
"Great! Not only do I get to lug honkin'' big rocks but I get to boil alive while I do it!" Jack shook his head. "So where's this naquata gizmo for Carter to play with?" Lieutenant Sharp grinned broadly, he was young and this was his first mission, he was clearly over excited by the discovery.  
  
"Its incredible Major!" he said excitedly. "It looks like it can refine any naquata compound to produce pure naquata, just like the one that you are working on." Carter smiled faintly.  
  
"Lead the way."  
  
"You kids have fun. Don't worry about us!" Jack called after Carter and Sharp. Carter shot him a sarcastic glance. "So... where do we start?" Jack looked round as he said this.  
  
"We just brought some compounds to the surface so we had better go and find one more cartload before we are scheduled to leave."  
  
The three members of SG-6 led the way into the shaft followed by Teal'c and then Jack who was muttering phrases such as: "over qualified" "stupid rocks" "damned mining" and "Carter's sweet job". 


	3. Storms a brewin

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ok we're starting to get somewhere now. please keep reviewing. Incidentally I wrote this last year while I was supposed to be revising for my GCSE's, it took ages!!!!  
  
  
  
Carter and Sharp had been working on the device for and hour and both were finding that their research was getting them nowhere fast.  
  
"Naquata is so reactive, that's what makes it so valuable but this device looks as if it heated it. In fact it did heat it I'm sure of that." Sharp looked puzzled as Carter said this, she looked up.  
  
"It works with a combination of heat and electrolysis, the only thing is, the way this is wired, the resistance would completely block the current. Whoever designed this must have had a way of diverting the resistance created by the heating. Also, there is no way that his could have been used safely, the heat required to reach the high temperature needed to turn the naquata into its molten state for electrolysis is too much. They must have had someway of reducing the melting point just like the use of cryolite in the electrolysis of aluminium." Carter sighed, exhausted. Just then Jack appeared.  
  
"How's it going kids?" Jack saw Carter preparing to launch into a long lecture about what she was doing and so he quickly added, "Rhetorical question." Carter shot him a look as if to say 'did you really need to ask anyway?'. Jack glanced at a disappointed Sharp and nodded with a knowing look. "Ah. Well, actually, I just came to get you two to come and watch the fireworks." Carter frowned at him, puzzled.  
  
"Fireworks, sir?"  
  
"Yeah, looks like a real big storm in the north."  
  
"What?" Carter felt something inside her twinge.  
  
"Great big black clouds... come see!" Jack seemed quite pleased. He was glad of the excitement having spent all day finding rocks. He walked down the tunnel in the direction of the surface. Sharp looked at Carter who shrugged. Sharp picked up his notes and followed Jack, Carter did the same with one last glance at the refiner.  
  
**********  
  
When Carter reached the entrance of the mine SG-6 and Teal'c and Jack were stood peering out into the darkness. Carter looked shocked, it was so dark that it might as well be midnight although the sun shouldn't even have set yet.  
  
"Wow!" Carter breathed, in stunned shock as they all stood in awe. A low rumble of thunder broke the silence as the rain started to fall. Just then an almighty crack split the sky as a bright blue bolt of lightening struck the ground somewhere off to the north. Carter inhaled sharply.  
  
"Now that's what I call a storm!" Jack was clearly impressed. A few minutes then another rumble and crack, the rain was getting heavier. A minute and then another rumble and crack. The rain was now so heavy it was falling in sheets. Carter looked pensively at her watch.  
  
"Sir..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"We have to leave... now!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Naquata is a super conductor and that storm is heading right for us. One lightening strike and the whole mine will be charged!" Another low rumble, much louder now and the lightening was much closer.  
  
"Alright, move out. Now!"  
  
"But sir... the naquata compound!" Bright looked at the loaded cart.  
  
"Leave it!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"That's an order!"  
  
They set off jogging towards the Stargate, they could see it within a few minutes.  
  
"Sir the storm has swung round, its cutting us off!" Carter shouted through the rain and thunder.  
  
"We'll make a break for it!" Jack shouted back. "Go!"  
  
They set off at a full run as the lightening struck trees around them. Bright reached the DHD and punched in the address, May dialled the remote code. SG-6 dived through the Stargate. Carter was at the rear of the group and was only feet from the gate when she collapsed. Jack saw her fall out of the corner of his eye. Teal'c was climbing the steps to the Stargate.  
  
"Carter!" Jack shouted as he bent over in the mud picking her up and starting to run towards the Stargate. Trees were collapsing all around them as the lightening struck, Teal'c stood at the gate waiting for Carter and O'Neill.  
  
"Go!" shouted Jack. Teal'c ran through the gate, Jack threw himself and Sam through the gate narrowly escaping being crushed by a falling tree. 


	4. Rest n relaxation

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: you're bored of reading these right so now so just ignore these rantings of a crazy woman and enjoy (?) the story!!!  
  
  
  
The pair tumbled out of the gate, hitting the metal ramp hard.  
  
"A little help here!" Jack slid over to Sam yelling to those around him. Doctor Fraser came into the Gate Room in her usual, serious, business-like manner accompanied by two infirmary staff carrying a stretcher.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"We were running for the Stargate... she just... collapsed." Jack panted and explanation as they carefully lifted Sam onto the stretcher. Janet looked concerned.  
  
"Let's get her to the infirmary." she said as they passed an anxious General Hammond.  
  
"De-briefing in half an hour. I wanna know what the hell happened!"  
  
"So do I sir." Jack agreed as they both looked out of the door in the direction of the infirmary.  
  
**********  
  
Carter opened her eyes to see the familiar surroundings of the infirmary gradually swim into focus. She groaned quietly. Janet saw her and walked over to the phone on the wall.  
  
"She's awake sir." She hung up and walked over to the bed where Sam lay.  
  
"Hey." she said softly. "You gave us quite a fright."  
  
"What happened?" Sam squinted as her eyes adjusted to the light.  
  
"You were running for the Stargate and you collapsed. Colonel O'Neill had to carry you back.  
  
"Mmmmm..." Sam moaned. "Why?"  
  
"Well I ran some tests. You seem to be in perfect health although your blood sugar levels were very low and there were some other factors consistent with exhaustion..."  
  
"Told you so!" Jack walked in, closely followed by Teal'c and General Hammond. "And you know I'm always right." A cheeky grin flashed across his face.  
  
"How do you feel Major?" inquired a concerned General Hammond.  
  
"A little tired sir." Carter replied groggily.  
  
"Well SG-1 is on a week's leave and I'm ordering you to go home and rest as soon as Doctor Fraser says you are well enough."  
  
"See, this time you have to leave!" said Jack triumphantly, Carter smiled.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"O'Neill is right on this occasion Major Carter." Jack shot Teal'c a mock offended glance as if to say "what do you mean 'on this occasion'?" This made Sam laugh. Teal'c continued, "You should rest, maybe you could go fishing with Colonel O'Neill." Teal'c's face split with an enormous grin as he remembered the last and only time he had ever been fishing. Sam giggled and then yawned as Janet fussed around her.  
  
"She really should rest here a while before we send her home."  
  
"Of course doctor." General Hammond left the room immediately, but not before adding, "Rest Major. That's an order!"  
  
Janet then rounded on Teal'c and Jack who were in the middle of a comical debate on the 'joys' of fishing.  
  
"That means you two!" They looked at her. "Out!" she said as she pointed at the door. Teal'c bowed, still smiling. Jack also bowed, mimicking Teal'c as he was grinning from ear to ear. They left still discussing fishing with Jack telling many tales of the one that got away.  
  
Janet sighed and shook her head smiling at Teal'c and Jack. It had been a long time since she had seen them so happy. In fact the whole base seemed to be starting to get over the death of Daniel.  
  
"I'll leave you rest. If those two come back then they'll have me to deal with." Janet chuckled as she left the infirmary leaving Sam to sleep.  
  
**********  
  
Sam was sent home later that evening accompanied by another officer just to make sure that she was really alright, and, at the request of Colonel O'Neill, that she didn't bring so much as a pen back from her lab. Sam unlocked the door, flicked the light on and picked up the mail that had been accumulating for the past couple of days. Walking into the kitchen she put the mail down on the bench and clicked the kettle on. She went to one of the cupboards and took out a mug and tea bag. While she was waiting for the kettle to boil Sam looked round. This place felt strange to her. She had hardly been home over the past few months and whenever she had it was never for long. The kettle whistled as it boiled and Sam made herself a cup of milky tea, walked into the living room and put some relaxing classical music on. She sank into the sofa and drank her tea slowly. Putting her tea on the mat beside her she wrapped a blanket round her and quickly drifted into sleep.  
  
**********  
  
Sam was awakened the next day by a loud knocking at the front door. Blinking in the bright sunlight that was flooding into the room she threw off her blanket and headed to the door shouting, "Alright, alright!" She turned the handle and opened the door to reveal Teal'c in black trousers, a checked shirt and one of his many hats. Next to him stood an unusually perky Jack, wearing faded denim jeans, blue T-shirt and his favourite leather jacket.  
  
"Morning campers!" he beamed.  
  
"Sir?" Sam blinked dozily in the sunlight.  
  
"Doc Fraser said we should swing by and check up on ya."  
  
"This early?"  
  
"Carter, its almost lunchtime!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Indeed it is." Teal'c  
  
"We brought pizza!" Jack cheerily produced a box.  
  
"And Star Wars." Teal'c added smiling.  
  
"Yeah, he may never have heard of Snow White but he knows all the Star Wars films off by heart, even the new one." Jack rolled his eyes as he said this.  
  
"Good films, these are." added Teal'c in a very good accent, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Yeah, may the force be with you Master Yoda." Jack sighed and looked at Carter. "Can we come in? It's your favourite pizza."  
  
"What? Oh... yeah. Sorry sir." She opened the door wider and stepped aside to let them in. Jack entered first and walked into the living room. Glancing round at the blanket, empty teacup and lamps that were still on, he turned to Carter.  
  
"Do you even own a bed?"  
  
"Yes sir. I just... I mean... I guess I was more exhausted then I thought." Carter had closed the door and ran a hand through her cropped blond hair as she walked into the kitchen.  
  
"You guys want a..." Carter frowned as she tried to think of the word.  
  
"Drink?" Jack finished the sentence for her as he rose from the armchair that he had just sunk into. He shot a side-glance at Teal'c who was standing next to the fireplace.  
  
"Yeah. I haven't got a wide variety." Carter muttered distractedly.  
  
"You got a beer?" asked Jack frowning with concern as he walked into the kitchen where Sam stood with her back to him, supporting herself on the bench.  
  
"You ok?" he said softly as he got closer.  
  
"Yes sir, I just..." Sam tried to reassure him but as she tried to walk towards the fridge her legs gave way.  
  
"Hey." Jack said softly, catching her. "Take it easy. C'mon, sit down." He guided her to the sofa as she held her head. Jack looked meaningfully at Teal'c.  
  
"Maybe Doc Fraser should check you out again." Sam was about to protest but she saw the concerned looks on the faces of her friends and simply said, "Ok."  
  
Jack looked surprised but he grabbed her leather jacket from the hook next to the front door as Teal'c helped Sam to Jack's black jeep that was parked outside. Sam was helped into the back, Teal'c sat up front and Jack was driving. They had not been on the road long when Sam slipped into a deep sleep as the mid-day sunlight flooded the car. Jack glanced in the rear view mirror. Sam looked so peaceful but he knew that there was something wrong, very wrong. 


	5. The truth

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: .enjoy! (I hope!)  
  
  
  
Sam opened her eyes with a sensation of de ja vu as the familiar infirmary surroundings began to swim into focus. This time, though, she heard voices.  
  
"So what you're telling me is..." The first was Colonel O'Neill's, a serious and somewhat concerned and disbelieving voice.  
  
"Yes sir. I'm afraid it really is that serious." The next was Janet's, as serious and matter-of-fact as ever although Sam could detect sadness and tension there.  
  
"Mmmmmm... what's serious?" Sam groaned, only just conscious. Jack, Janet and General Hammond shot worried looks at each other before walking closer to Sam to speak to her.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Janet's voice was definitely tense. Sam could hardly concentrate on anything yet she managed to notice this.  
  
"Not too great... what's wrong? What's going on?" Sam put a hand to her head, she was regaining her concentration but the throbbing in her head was also returning. Her three friends looked at each other, Sam was feeling more and more nervous by the minute.  
  
"I'm afraid we have some very bad news for you Major." Hammond could hardly bring himself to speak. He could deal with anything, anything but this.  
  
"Sir?" Sam looked at the three of them in turn as she got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
"Those nasty headaches you've been getting..." Jack couldn't bring himself to look at her so he stood staring at his feet as he spoke. "The tiredness and general yucky feelings... we know why." Sam was starting to feel very panicky.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"We took a cat scan... I'm sorry Sam, there's no easy way to say this. You've got cancer. A brain tumour...." Janet's words faded into the background. Sam just couldn't take it in. Brain tumour. Cancer. Her. Why? Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. The word stuck in her head like a broken record. She came out of her trance just in time to catch Janet saying,  
  
"...too developed for any treatment to have a useful effect."  
  
"How long do I have? I mean it can't be so developed. I've only had the headaches for a few weeks." Sam looked at Jack but he was staring at the floor still. She looked at Hammond who couldn't hold her gaze. She looked at Janet who stared at her before speaking.  
  
"It's bad Sam." Janet brushed Sam's hair off her face, she was finding it hard to look into those blue eyes and tell her best friend that she was dying. Janet sighed and stared at Sam's hand, which she was now holding.  
  
"The naquata left in your blood by Jolinar has caused the mutant cell growth to be nearly fifty times that of an average human." Carter was getting more and more worried by the second, her eyes were burning and there was a lump in her throat.  
  
"So... what? I have weeks not months?" Janet could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes. This wasn't fair and so soon after Daniel. She couldn't bear to watch another friend die. Her voice was tight as she tried to remain composed. "I'm afraid its more like days."  
  
"Days!" This couldn't be happening to her, she must be dreaming. No she knew she wasn't, the pain in her head was too excruciating to be any dream. "There must be some mistake... I... I mean... days!"  
  
"I'm sorry Sam." General Hammond's voice had a fatherly tone to it as he said this. "There may be one slim chance for you..."  
  
Just then Teal'c entered the infirmary.  
  
"General Hammond, I have successfully reached the Tok'ra and they will send a representative immediately." Teal'c walked over to Sam's bed. Sam frowned, confused as to what was going on.  
  
"Implantation?" she asked looking round at all the grave faces as she fought to be pragmatic.  
  
"No Major Carter. That would not be possible. The protein marker left in your blood would not allow another symbiote to be implanted. The host is not meant to outlive the symbiote. I am sorry."  
  
Teal'c was nearly reduced to tears as he said this. After the death of Daniel Jackson, he and Major Carter had become much closer.  
  
"What then?" asked Sam taking Teal'c's hand to comfort him and herself.  
  
"The Goa'uld healing thingy." Jack explained waving his hand around vaguely. He felt numb.  
  
"No one on this base can operate it so we have sent for one of the Tok'ra and we have asked that they send Jacob as soon as possible." General Hammond explained.  
  
"Thank you sir." Carter said, suddenly feeling very tired.  
  
"You should try and get some rest." Janet chided gently as she saw Sam fighting to keep her eyes open.  
  
"We'll leave you in peace." Hammond touched her shoulder and smiled before leaving the room. Janet looked at her watch.  
  
"I'll be back in a few minutes." She said smiling as she left the room. Teal'c squeezed Sam's hand gently and she looked up at him. He gave her a look that said everything and then bowed before leaving. Jack started to follow him but paused when he reached the door and turned round.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Yes sir?" she murmured, looking at him.  
  
"Take it easy, ok?"  
  
"Yes sir." she smiled faintly as he walked out of the room. For once he was right, she should take it easy. 


	6. The tok'ra

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: .  
  
  
  
"Major Carter?" Sam awakened by the sound of General Hammond's voice calling her name.  
  
"The Tok'ra representative is here."  
  
"Dad?" Sam asked without opening her eyes.  
  
"I am sorry Major Carter, but your father is currently deep under cover in a distant galaxy out of reach of our communication." The voice was that of a female Tok'ra.  
  
"Then send someone to go and fetch him. He's her father for cryin' out loud!" Sam smiled inwardly at the sound of the voice of her CO.  
  
"We currently have no operatives available."  
  
"Then make one available!" There was something dangerous in his voice.  
  
"That'll do Colonel." said Hammond in a commanding tone. Hammond had learned when to stop Jack whose temper had caused more than enough trouble over the years. Jack sighed loudly to mark his disapproval of the Tok'ra.  
  
"Where is the device?" asked the Tok'ra.  
  
"Here." Teal'c carefully handed the device over as Carter tried to make her eyes adjust to the light as the pain in her head intensified. The Tok'ra reverently placed the device on her hand and held it over Sam's head.  
  
"Are you ready Major?" asked the Tok'ra representative. Sam took a deep breath and nodded slowly. The Tok'ra closed her eyes and Sam did the same. Then it began. It seemed to be going well at first but then Sam's face became twisted and contorted in pain.  
  
"Hey!" Jack shouted, drawing closer to the bed. "Hey! Stop it! You're hurting her!" He grabbed Sam's hand and the Tok'ra stopped as Teal'c drew threateningly close to her.  
  
"I'm sorry. The cancer is too advanced."  
  
"Thanks you for your kind efforts." Although Hammond was being torn apart on the inside he maintained his diplomacy.  
  
"The treatment has had no adverse effects." Janet stated having completed a check over. The Tok'ra looked at the stern faces of Teal'c and Jack and felt and immense sadness.  
  
"What happened?" Sam murmured as she opened her eyes.  
  
"The treatment had no effect Major Carter." Teal'c stated as he looked sadly at her.  
  
"I am sorry Major Carter. I will return immediately and try to reach your father myself. Jack looked up from Sam, surprised.  
  
"Thanks." he said as the Tok'ra left accompanied by General Hammond. Janet left as well, telling Jack and Teal'c not be long so the Sam could rest. Teal'c moved closer to Sam and bowed.  
  
"I shall return after my quel nareem."  
  
"Thanks Teal'c." Sam smiled faintly, her and Teal'c had been a lot closer since Daniel.  
  
Jack looked at Sam, he knew that she was mad at him for being so cold about Daniel. They hadn't been close since.  
  
"I better go." Jack turned and started to walk towards the door, but Sam turned to him, her eyes welling up.  
  
"I'm scared." He paused.  
  
"In fact I'm terrified." she continued. Jack turned round and started to walk towards her. A tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
"I've never been so terrified in all my life. I'm dying and all I can do is wait. I can't fight it. I can't find a scientific way out..." Another tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
"Hey." Jack said softly. "Don't give up. You know how many times we beat death."  
  
"Even if I don't die this cancer will have destroyed some of my brain. I won't be able to do simple sums, let alone complex astrophysical equations. I'll be useless."  
  
"Carter, I've never understood all that science mumbo jumbo that you spout, I'm not useless... I don't think." This attempt at levity failed as Sam looked straight at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.  
  
"This place is my life. It's all I have."  
  
For once Jack didn't know what to say, he just looked into those big beautiful blue eyes as tears formed in his own.  
  
"I'll loose who I am, I won't be me anymore." She collapsed into tears, putting her hands over her eyes. Jack couldn't hold back any longer. He pulled Sam close to him and kissed her hair.  
  
"It'll be alright. I promise." I can't loose her, not like this. I can't do it again. He thought as he cradled her.  
  
**********  
  
Jack stayed with Sam for hours, sitting silently, stroking her hair. There was so much that they both wanted to say and yet somehow the silence said it all. Jack had left to go to the Mess to find some coffee. He had just about reached the mess when he heard the strained voice over the tannoy.  
  
"Doctor Fraser to the infirmary, immediately!"  
  
He knew at once what that meant and turned around starting to run in the direction of the infirmary. Sam. Sam. Sam.  
  
**********  
  
Jack appeared at the doorway of the infirmary to see Janet shining a light in Sam's eyes.  
  
"It's no good. I was afraid this would happen, but not so soon." Janet choked on her tears.  
  
"What?" Jack felt numb inside, he had only left for two minutes. Teal'c and General Hammond appeared behind Jack. Janet turned round and wiped a tear from her eye.  
  
"She's gone into a coma sir." She paused to regain composure. "The cancer has spread further than I predicted."  
  
"But she'll wake up, right?" Jack was still in shock. Janet looked into his eyes through the tears in her own.  
  
"No sir. I don't think she will." 


	7. Anger

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: a short chapter  
  
  
  
"Dammit General! We have saved so many ungrateful alien buts! They owe us! There must something that one of them can do!" Jack thumped the desk before rising to stand next to the window of the briefing room, looking out at the Stargate.  
  
"None of them can help her, son." Hammond tried to soothe Jack.  
  
"None of them can or none of them will?" Jack snapped.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill!"  
  
"Sir, with all due respect, why do we bother forming alliances when none of them will help us when we need it?"  
  
"Colonel, none of our allies have the technology to cure Major Carter."  
  
Teal'c sat pensively saying nothing.  
  
"Dismissed." General Hammond stood up and Teal'c hurried back to the infirmary.  
  
"Jack, can I have a word?" Jack followed General Hammond into his office and shut the door.  
  
"Son, this is going to be tough on all of us." Hammond couldn't believe he was having to say this about Sam. "I know how much she means to you." Normally, Jack would respond with a regulation obeying 'she's a very valuable member of my team' but this time all he could do was look at General Hammond who continued. "I know she's a fighter but I think we must prepare for the worst."  
  
"General, if you don't mind, I'd like to go home and get some rest." Jack couldn't face this and Hammond knew it.  
  
"Of course." Jack was almost out of the door when Hammond added.  
  
"Doctor Fraser thinks that she may have less than twenty four hours." Jack paused for a minute and then carried on walking. Hammond shook his head. None of them wanted to face this but they had to.  
  
**********  
  
Jack had just reached the elevator when he heard a familiar voice call out, "O'Neill!" Jack turned round to see Teal'c hurrying towards him. Teal'c had been sitting in Sam's private room and had seen Jack pass.  
  
"Do you intend to return soon?" Jack sighed.  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Major Carter's condition is grave."  
  
"I know." said Jack turning his back on Teal'c.  
  
"Do not wait until it is too late!" Teal'c called as the elevator doors closed. Jack was left stunned by the words that were so unlike Teal'c. 


	8. Pain

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: .  
  
  
  
Jack opened the door of his apartment and flicked on the light. He was so tired. It had been long day and the mental exhaustion was almost overpowering. He took off his jacket and hung it on the banister before dragging himself up stairs. He sat down on the bed and kicked his shoes off. He couldn't face sleep and so he picked up one of his 'Angler's Monthly' and settled down to read an article on carp. Within moments, however, his eyes had closed and he had slipped into a deep sleep.  
  
**********  
  
Meanwhile, back at the complex, the atmosphere was one of tension and sorrow.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but there's still no change." Janet and General Hammond stood outside of the room that Sam had been moved into for more privacy.  
  
"Would it be alright if I go in and sit with her for a while?"  
  
"Of course. Although she's in a coma, she may well still be able to hear everything that is going on around her." Janet looked through the door way at Sam and then turned away. "Excuse me sir." She hurried down the corridor as tears rolled down her cheek. Hammond walked into the room and stood looking helplessly at Sam.  
  
"I don't know whether you can hear me or not but Doctor Fraser assures me that there is every possibility that you can. There has been no word from the Tok'ra about your father but I'm sure that they are doing all they can." He looked down at his feet and the room fell silent apart from the bleeping of the heart monitor.  
  
"I don't know what to say. I..." Hammond closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "You are a highly valued member of the programme and especially of your team. You have a brilliant mind and the place won't be the same without you." The words gushed out of Hammond, he stood quietly for a few minutes and then leant over and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll miss you Sam." A tear rolled down his cheek and he walked out of the room.  
  
**********  
  
Jack turned in his sleep, he was dreaming, or rather, remembering. The first time he had met Sam she was a hard assed feminist and he knew from that instant that she was going to be trouble. "Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside." She was as sharp as a tack and nothing had changed. He rolled over as he remembered the time that they were stuck in an icy cavern. She had looked after him, putting a splint on his broken leg. God that was painful! He remembered all the times she had confused her with all that scientific babble. He admired her for it though. He remembered that time when he got to outsmart her, and Daniel too! Well that time loop was good for something... more than one thing actually. He smiled as he remembered the kiss. Suddenly something shot through him, an immense pain. Sam. Cancer. Sam. Dying. Sam would never know that kiss.  
  
**********  
  
Janet checked the drip next to Sam's bed, she was following her usual routine but she paused to look at Sam.  
  
"Why can't I save you?" Janet whispered as she held Sam's hand. "What is the point in all that medical training when all I can do is sit and watch someone I love die?" Janet screwed up her eyes to stop herself from crying and tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "It's not fair. First Daniel, now you. I can't do this anymore. You are so self-less and generous. You don't deserve this!" Tears rolled down her face as she held Sam's hand tightly. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked round. It was Teal'c. He had hardly left Sam's side. Janet started to stammer. "I... I was... I was just... I..." She just collapsed into tears, all attempts at professionalism had failed. Teal'c, moved by pity, put his arm around her.  
  
"She's so special and I never told her!" cried Janet.  
  
"I am sure Major Carter was aware of your feelings." Teal'c attempted to comfort Janet as he held her in his arms.  
  
"I'll miss her so much!"  
  
"As will I." 


	9. Goodbyes

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: .  
  
  
  
Jack suddenly sat bolt upright, a tear rolling down his cheek. He had to get to Sam. He hurriedly put his shoes on and ran downstairs, grabbed his leather jacket and rushed out of the house letting the door slam behind him.  
  
**********  
  
Janet had left the room to go and tidy herself up, leaving Teal'c alone with Sam.  
  
"You indeed will be missed Major Carter." Teal'c paused thoughtfully as his eyes glistened. "I owe you my life. Were it not for you my energy signal would have been erased from the memory of the Stargate. Your knowledge and courage have saved the Tau'ri many times and helped many other planets." A single tear rolled down Teal'c's cheek. "Side by side we have battled against the Goa'uld, it has been an honour, thank you." Teal'c gave an honourable bow and left.  
  
Jack saw Teal'c walking down the corridor. He himself reached the infirmary and stopped dead in his tracks. She looked so pale, so peaceful. Seeing her like that reminded him of the time when she had been taken over by that computer thing. He was so scared that he'd lost her then but it was nothing in comparison with now. Jack walked over to the bed and took Sam's hand. He had been trying to plan what to say all the time that he was driving over but he still didn't know. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, breathing out slowly.  
  
"You know I'm never very good at this..." he looked down at her hand as he remembered the time that he had had to say goodbye to Daniel. "I never know what to say... I just feel so helpless." He squeezed her hand tightly as he said this. "Give me some greasy assed, snake in the head, Goa'uld to fight, but not this." He relaxed his grip on her hand slightly. "You know how I feel. I don't wanna loose you. I can't go through this again! I just can't do it!" Jack sighed. "I know you think that I was cold and heartless when Daniel... but that's because...it's because not thinking about it was the only way I could carry on. I miss him too." Jack closed his eyes as the tears were making them sting. He took another deep breath before he opened them again. "I guess I just wanted you to know that... and one more thing." He drew closer to her and in a gentler voice said, "You remember that day that repeated itself for me and Teal'c, I told you about the golf, the pottery, the juggling..." He smiled as he remembered the look on her face as he told her about the juggling. "Well there's one thing I didn't tell you. Before the time loop started again I handed in my notice... and... I kissed you." Bending over Sam, he kissed her gently on the lips as tears rolled down his cheeks. Pulling back slightly he whispered, "I love you." Jack looked round the room and found a stool which he pulled next to the bed. He sat down and took Sam's hand, stroking her hair with his other hand.  
  
**********  
  
"Unauthorised off-world activation!" called Sergeant Davis as General Hammond hurried down the spiral staircase to the Gate Room.  
  
"Close the iris!" ordered Hammond as troops rushed into the Gate Room, weapons poised. Suddenly the whole room was filled with light as a white being passed right through the iris. Hammond recognised it as one of the ascended beings. "Stand down, I repeat, stand down. Do not engage the creature." The being floated past them and down the corridor as they stood looking on in awe. Hammond started after it with Teal'c close behind him. As it passed Janet's office she also rose to follow it to Sam's room. 


	10. In The End

TITLE: Tears  
  
AUTHOR: caz  
  
EMAIL: caz_gobby@hotmail.com  
  
SPOILERS: Meridian is the main one but it relates to a lot other episodes as well.  
  
SEASON/ SEQUEL: It's set kinda a few months after meridian so.  
  
RATING: PG (to be on the safe side)  
  
SUMMARY: Sam is suffering from an illness that threatens everything.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: final chapter, so now I REALLY wanna know what you think!!! Please give me you honest opinions about the ending!!!!  
  
  
  
Jack was still sitting holding Sam's hand when he saw the room fill with white light. He turned around and squinted at the being as it entered the room, followed closely by General Hammond, Doctor Fraser and Teal'c. Once they were all in the room, a face appeared amidst the swirling light.  
  
"Daniel!" Jack exclaimed as he stood up still holding Sam's hand. Daniel smiled as he floated over to the other side of the bed. Then all the light seemed to be absorbed by Sam and Daniel disappear. They all looked round at each other in bewilderment except Jack who was focused on Sam, stroking her hair.  
  
**********  
  
"Daniel!" Sam exclaimed. She was standing in her lab and Daniel appeared, bathed in light.  
  
"What? I mean... how?" Sam was really confused. Daniel just reached out and put his arms around her.  
  
"Oh God I've missed you." she said, holding him tightly.  
  
"I know." he said soothingly. "I've missed you all." They pulled back from the embrace and Sam looked at Daniel.  
  
"It hasn't been the same without you." Daniel was staring at her.  
  
"Maybe it would be easier if you stopped blaming Jack." Sam looked surprised and then looked at her feet. "It was my time. It felt right. I had to do it." Daniel paused. "But this, this isn't your time." Sam looked at him. "You still have unfinished business..."  
  
Just at that point Jack appeared, they could see him but he couldn't see them. "C'mon Sam, fight it. Come back to us. Daniel you better not be taking her away. We need her."  
  
Jack faded away again. Sam and Daniel smiled. "Your journey is not over so return to it."  
  
"I'll see you again, won't I?"  
  
"Nobody knows when our paths will cross again." Daniel smiled and waved his arm, everything was again plunged into darkness.  
  
**********  
  
Daniel reappeared as all the light drained out of Sam and once again filled the room. Jack looked at him and understood.  
  
"Thank you." Daniel nodded and smiled at them all then drifted past them heading to the Stargate. Hammond, Janet and Teal'c gathered closer to Sam as Jack shook her gently.  
  
"Carter, Carter, wake up." Slowly she opened her eyes to see the smiling faces of her friends.  
  
"Hey." Janet was the first to speak. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Mmmmm... fine." Sam pulled herself upright in bed.  
  
"I'm very pleased to hear that Major." Hammond smiled broadly.  
  
"As am I." Teal'c smiled and bowed.  
  
"We had better go and inform the rest of the base and the Tok'ra." said Hammond as he turned to leave accompanied by Teal'c and Janet who called back over her shoulder, "Rest!"  
  
Jack looked at Sam and said, "I better go so you can rest." Jack shuffled uneasily and started to leave the room.  
  
"I heard what you said."  
  
"When?"  
  
"When I was asleep."  
  
"You heard?"  
  
"Every word."  
  
"Oh..." Jack looked at his feet nervous as to how she would react.  
  
"Thank you." He brightened up a little on hearing this.  
  
"I'm just glad you're alright, you had us worried." He smiled at her and started to leave, he felt sure they could not longer work together after his revelation.  
  
"Sir, one more thing!" Carter called out to him. He turned round.  
  
"You never told me about any pottery!" She grinned and he grinned back.  
  
"Oh didn't I? Well..." With that he walked over to the bed and sat on it while he animatedly described his 'fabulous' pottery attempts. He exaggerated as always and she laughed as always and Daniel looked out for them, as always. 


End file.
